(Excerpts from the book, "Fifty Ways to Say No and Mean It!" by Freda D. Doxey
In my practice as a licensed mental health counselor, I found a considerable number of people uncomfortable with saying “No” to situations, invitations, suggestions, offers, or relationships. They lack what psychology calls, refusal skills or setting healthy boundaries – or, saying “No” and meaning it.
It can be simply that six-layer decadent chocolate mousse cake at your favorite restaurant “calling your name” and you keep mumbling, “No”, quietly to yourself. A few minutes later, you find yourself licking your fork from the pleasure of devouring your third slice. Later, you shake your head with grief, pondering how you did it again – said “yes” when you wanted to say “No.” Here's one practical principle you can use to improve your ability to saying “No” and meaning it. Principle #7Let me get back to you Decisions are either made at that very moment or postponed to a later time. Just because someone deems the decision to be urgent, does not make it urgent for you.
Be willing to let others know what you will need and take the necessary time to think through before you decide on a matter.